Bella Out Loud » Sex

Bedroom Experimentation: Fun or Scary?

Bella — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 04:10:16 +0000

Last week I was in the final session of a training to help me better define the market I aim to serve and my goals for this site. We were going over our mission statements that had been assigned the previous week and during my time, I shared my first draft plus some key areas of focus, which in this version, included ‘Exploration and Experimentation’. Now, exploration and experimentation in the bedroom are perfectly normal and a welcome part of my sex life, and I encourage other women, particularly moms, to follow suit. A healthy sex life is good for you emotionally and physically. It helps strengthen bonds with your partner and makes you feel great overall.

One of the women in the group got me thinking, however, when she stated that ‘experimentation’ sounded scary to her, something she wouldn’t want to do. Perhaps it’s just because she really isn’t a part of the market I aim to serve or maybe the word ‘experimentation’ conjures up images of test tubes with Dr’s in white coats and restraints (which honestly, might be an interesting little role play, put I digress). Needless to say, the word ‘experimentation’ or any derivative thereof is not in my final draft–I’ve decided that ‘Explore’ would serve as a sole replacement rather than a partner in the statement. Here it is:

Because Bella Out Loud knows that Moms have sex too, we are dedicated to helping them keep their relationship spicy by providing information, resources and tools that support them as they explore and have fun with sex while strengthening the bond with their partner.

That pretty well sums up my mission for this site. I hope you all can clearly see why BellaOutLoud is here. I’m not here to scare anyone, but I’m am fairly liberal in my tips and advice. I’m here to help you spice it up and strengthen bonds with your lover, knowing full well that you have kids, a home and most likely a job to take care of too.

Anyway, I’ve gone on long enough about my mission to help moms have hot sex lives. BUT, I’m working on my focused goals for the year to support this mission, so keep your eyes open.

If you have any thoughts or questions, please post ‘em in a comment.

And, I encourage everyone to answer a few questions to help me make sure I’m giving you what you want.

Thanks!

Risqué Bedroom Experimentation Fun

Bella — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 03:58:43 +0000

For those who have been in a relationship for some time, things in the bedroom, after awhile, tend to get, well to be blunt, routine. That is, unless we take care to keep that spark lit. One way to do that is to experiment.

One of my favorites, if that isn’t obvious, tends toward the BDSM side of things. For some, those four letters trigger a plethora of emotions, from excitement, to fear, to curiosity. If you are one that is curious enough to experiment, there are many ways to introduce the idea to your partner, as suggested in ‘S&M for Beginners’ by Ky Henderson. You should also remember to start out only with what you’re comfortable and make sure that you and your partner clearly communicate what is ok and what is not.

To start off, I recommend trying a blindfold. Depriving the sense of sight heightens other senses for the submissive partner, increasing the feelngs of pleasure. Or, perhaps it’s always been your secret fantasy to have your lover tie you to the bedposts and have his/her way with you. Simple restraints can make that fantasy a reality, leading to an overwhelming experience of release through trust.

For more information on experimenting with BDSM, check out:

- S&M for Beginners, by Ky Henderson

Right Time, Right Place: The Different Moods of Sex

Bella — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 04:51:18 +0000

Let’s face it, when you’re walking down the aisles of the grocery store in jeans and a finger-paint smeared t-shirt with a Barbie Princess sticker on it from your daughter, pockets overflowing with various tissues, wrappers and string from your son, and two children arguing over who should sit in the back of the cart, sexy is the last thing from you or anyone else’s mind. But there is a time and a place for everything.

There are times when you are wearing those jeans that make your ass look perfectly awesome, and your hair is having an extraordinary day, topped with zit-free skin and a bounce in your walk. On days like that, the kids could eat an entire bag of chocolate chips and write their names on every wall in the house. It would just flow right off, because you look good, you feel good and you know you have a hot date that night.

Both of these women are me, just at different times and different places in my day, month, week…you get the picture. And to me, in so many ways sex is the same way. I am me, sometimes frumpy sometimes hot. Sex is sex, but we all know there is sex and there is OMFG SEX. Which one presents itself during any given occasion is dependent on a number of inexplicable and seemingly unrelated factors outside our control. OK, maybe they are not inexplicable all of the time, and certainly some of them may be related, but my point is you never know what will happen.

You can plan a special don’t get out of bed all weekend, bought new toys and lingerie, order-in food and drinks kinda get-away—and one of you gets the flu. Or, you could be cooking fried chicken in sweats and a tee, greasy faced and ponytail in the hair; then he comes in for a little kiss and you end up naked on the kitchen table. You just never can tell.

Does that mean we should stop planning romantic get-always or late night ‘the kids are in bed’ private soirees? No, it just means, if things aren’t mind-blowingly awesome, that’s ok. It’s just not the right time and place for mind-blowing. The important thing is that we keep trying, and stay connected. Cuz, really, even non-mind-blowing…not bad at all.

Make sure to stop back Saturday (or subscribe to my feed) for 10 tips to help keep that connection, ensuring the factors that influence spontaneous mind-blowing stay ever present.